aware of the birds

it was oddly unsettling
the myriad of pigeons right outside my window 
I wondered if I could change that
“we are aware of the birds”
that’s all I got
and out of the many things I could not reach 
this I could live with 
a year later, as layers and layers of disturbing events piled up within me 
I mused on the birds 
honored to witness their little existence 
so little it did not bother me anymore 
so little because 
I was so huge 
full of holes
yet complete somehow 
and I felt so content to be
aware of the birds. 

October 29th, 2024

From the author: When I first moved to NYC, I had an experience that stayed with me. A few days after settling into my new apartment, I noticed a group of pigeons living right outside my kitchen window. I was immediately bothered—thinking about diseases and the fact that I’d never be able to open that window. So, I reached out to my building super, hoping for a solution. His response? A shrug and a simple acknowledgement: “Yeah, we’re aware of the birds.”
Fast forward a year, and I was recounting the story to two friends visiting my apartment. We laughed at my naïveté — complaining about pigeons in NYC, of all things! Pigeons and NYC are a package deal. Looking back, I realized how this seemingly “unpleasant” situation taught me a lesson.
That weekend with my friends sparked reflection on my journey. I started thinking about all the challenges and adjustments that shaped me to be the person I am today - and wasn’t yesterday and won’t be tomorrow. And that's the story of this poem.

Raianna Fantin is a 32-year-old Brazilian woman with a passion for investigation, which led her to pursue a career in science. Her work primarily focuses on translational research, including vaccine development and therapeutic tools. However, her curiosity and drive to address real-world challenges — or make them bearable — do not stop in the lab. Human emotions are also one of her major interests and a quite sensitive parameter to help her understand the world. Besides science and writing, Raianna also loves to read, paint, and experience art of all kinds, as they work as a huge source of inspiration and reflection — as do her own emotions.