The Bad

I wanna leave, I wanna stay.
I wish the bad would go away.
I'm just a girl, I want my mom.
Is this the storm before the calm?
I can be strong, I can be weak.
I can't be the comfort that I seek.
I have family, I have friends.
I feel alone when each day ends.
Yes, I’ve eaten. Yes, I’ve slept.
And where were you when last I wept?
This place is a nightmare. Its system’s a mess.
No question, these people couldn’t care less .
I wanna yell, I wanna scream.
I need more players on my team.
And when I wake to each new day, I wish the bad would go away.

From the author: I wrote this poem while sitting at my mom's bedside last month. It seemed to just pour out of me within minutes. Funny what pain can bring out of us. My mom suffered a devastating aneurysm in September and I’ve been at the hospital with her every single day since- mostly alone. This poem encapsulates all of my raw frustrations with what happened to my mom, my loneliness , friends/family who aren’t by my side, and the wicked maze that is our healthcare system.

Sydney Mortensen is an actress and creative living in NYC. Growing up on both coasts of the country with a diverse background, she’s developed a unique perspective that she strives to incorporate into all of her artistic endeavors. When she’s not working, she usually spends her free time at the ballet, symphony, or a broadway show with her favorite person: her mom. You can find her photography on her instagram @librazebraphoto.