The weight of our truths

He stares at me, 
the trauma of his past brimming at his lips.
As he contemplates releasing the truth from the gates of his mouth,
His eyes relish our shared characteristics.
The frown,
previously settled on his forehead, 
softens.
And for a moment 
we aren't in this rigidly structured & sterile space.

As he opens his mouth, 
I sense the weight of his truth come crashing down. 
His eyes look away, 
The frown returns
And a lie slips from between his teeth.
Any resemblance of trust quickly dissipates,
Taking his one sliver of freedom with it. 

A part of me is grateful the lie escaped before the truth 
Unsure if I knew what I would do with it, exactly.
The other, reflects on the weight of his reality.
So many thoughts circle my mind
But only my weary smile meets his eyes. 

Understanding the weight of his burdens,
His shoulders lie defeated. 
For he thinks it will be too much for me, 
Knowing it was already too heavy for him. 

Leaving us both to wonder, 
Can he be saved before it crushes him completely?

From the author: During my clinical rotations, I felt both privileged and undeserving of the amount of vulnerability and authenticity patients came into the room with. Sometimes the interactions felt robotic, I would go through a series of questions and they would answer. And other times it felt as though the patient was sharing information they had kept to themselves for most of their lives. It was in those moments I felt the most unequipped, in fear that there was nothing I could do to help. I have learned, through time, that while patients come to providers looking for answers, they are oftentimes looking for someone to just listen. So listen, with your eyes and ears.

Tsion Tmariam is a current scholarly year MD student in between her third and fourth year. She is interested in health equity, medical journalism, and global health. Storytelling has always been a passion of hers, whether that is through writing, spoken word, or visual art. For the past couple of years she has been working on using the art of storytelling to push the boundaries of medicine, and hopes to perfect that craft as she dives deeper into her career.